I'm not totally sure what a panic attack feels like or is officially defined as, but I had one, and it lasted for most of the morning. It happens sometimes. I remember the first one I ever had was in high school, after a cast party for a play I was in. It scared the heck out me. I had never heard of panic attacks.
I went a long time without it happening again, but last year it started happening kinda regularly. I went to a doctor and he prescribed medicine, and it seemed to work, but I stopped taking it because I thought what I needed was professional counseling, which I've been doing for over a year now.
Maybe I'll try the medicine again. I think I just need to make some adjustments to my work habits. Yesterday's panic attack was caused by a combination of work and general life pressure. I think.
Eri and the boys and I were gonna go to grandpa's house to pick vegetables in his garden. The boys love grandpa's garden. In the end Eri and the boys went and I stayed home to catch up on work and try to get some quiet time.
It took most of the morning to just calm down and get to a point where I could concentrate on anything. My heart was racing and I was shaking. I did a few house chores and went for a walk. The quiet and solitude of the secluded ravine where Dounji Temple is always makes me feel somewhat calm.
From there I walked to this ramen shop I've always wanted to try. There's always a line out the door. Today I figured it was as good a time as any to head over there before the lunch rush and see what all the fuss is about.
They open at 11, and I got there just before that, but there was already a line and the counter inside was packed. I guess they start early on Sundays.
This place is like gourmet ramen. And just ramen. They don't mess around with gyoza and other stuff. The machine where you buy your ticket is pretty simple. Since it was my first visit I initially thought I should just try their standard, but my stomach and my curiosity and my love oily noodles led me to ordering the Deluxe Abura Soba.
And it was glorious. Handmade soba noodles with flavorful oil, a seasoned egg, mushrooms, and a full layer of grilled pork.
For me this fits into the category of novelty noodles. It was delicious, but my next ramen trips will be to the standards - tan-tan-men, tonkotsu, spicy miso, with thin noodles and tangy soup.
I got some work done later and that helped me calm down and collect myself. I need to figure out how to balance things so I don't reach the point of panic. I always say that. Easier said than done.
Eri and the boys came home around sunset. They had a great day picking potatoes and persimmons and catching bugs. As I waited for them to return home I found myself staring out the window at the cool autumn sunset.
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