This'll Just Take a Minute

I am continuing to figure out what it means to practice gratitude. It's not as intuitive as one would think. At least for me. But I'm trying every day. I believe that truly embodying gratitude for being alive, for having family and friends, and for everything that makes up our existence for better or for worse, is the way to create a legacy that will ripple into the world and ultimately make it better. My goal is to leave the world a little better than the way I found it. The boys helped me with a new year's eve car wash. They scrubbed the tires like the pros they are. Then it was time for the silliness, which I fully approve of. When it comes to the boys and their shenanigans my policy is that they should be crazy and silly while they have the chance. I am grateful for their zaniness, their questions and curiosity, and their fresh perspective on life. Usually on new year's eve in Japan folks eat soba noodles. It's a traditional thing. However, we happen to have rec...

The penultimate day of the year 2022 meant Big Cleaning . It's taken me a long time to give up the idea of spring cleaning and fully embrace the Japanese cultural virtue of end of the year house cleaning. In the end, whenever you decide to do a full cleaning of parts of your house you don't normally clean, both inside and outside, you are going to feel that combination of exhaustion and satisfaction whether its new year's eve or not. So says the clean freak. For most of my life I have had this thing where I cannot do anything, whether it's watching TV or cooking scrambled eggs, until the environment is clean and, most importantly, in order. In my single days this was easy to manage, obsessive as it is under any circumstance. When you're with three other people, two of whom are relatively new to being, the environment you live in has more variables. Way more. It has been one of the biggest challenges of my life to adjust to a lifestyle where sometimes things are just...

Eri had the great idea to take a drive to Shiogama this morning. The boys were excited to see the ocean, though we had to keep telling Osamu that we weren't going to the beach. It was snowing and the beach is in a different place. We did some super fresh seafood shopping at the Shiogama fishing port . Osamu was in charge of holding onto our pack of maguro.  He and Kenzo also spotted their favorite: sujiko . Fish eggs. They really love that stuff. I gotta say I love it too. We did an early lunch, even though the boys weren't that hungry yet. Eri and I devoured our seafood sets. Kenzo ate most of my rice. That's all he wanted. He was holding out for some fish eggs. Kenzo got this awesome globe from grandma for Christmas and he loves it. It came with a set of cards for learning what continent various animals live on. Most of the animals are pretty obscure, so I'm learning too. Like a monitor lizard . The main reason Eri wanted to go to Shiogama was this kamaboko shop  tha...

The boys and I put away the Christmas tree this morning while mama was out at the hair salon.  Kenzo and Osamu loved wearing work gloves like papa. Kenzo was especially helpful. He was in charge of putting lights and tinsel in the proper bags. It wasn't an easy job, and he got pretty annoyed at Osamu a few times, but he persevered and we got everything cleaned up and back in the upstairs closet before lunch. The boys each got 50 yen for their hard work. I was planning on paying them the usual 10 yen, but I didn't have any 10 yen coins and I rationalized that they worked especially hard and deserved a Christmas bonus. At 5:20 p.m. we caught the bus to Izumi Chuo, hopped on the subway all the way to Nagamachi, and checked out the 89ers game. Kenzo was especially excited to ride the subway past Sendai Station. He'd never been that far before. Osamu likes standing on the subway and feeling the inertia when the train speeds up and slows down. At some point he's going to fal...

When I made eggnog on Christmas Eve I saved the egg whites. It would be a waste to just toss them out. Six eggs worth of egg whites. I put them in a tupperware thing and it sat in the fridge for a few days. As the official hyena of our house I ate natto for breakfast that had 12/24 printed on the pack as the expiration date. Perfectly fine. Delicious as always with a raw egg on top and hot mustard. I scour the refrigerator daily to see what I can consume before it goes bad. In the morning Eri took the boys out with her to do some shopping and I walked over to Ichinazaka to get a haircut. I walked the long way home through Shoryo and when I arrive home Kenzo and Osamu were finishing up a delicious fried rice lunch with Eri. Then it was off to nap time. I was hungry. I don't eat much in the mornings these days. And I had just walked about 6 kilometers.  The egg whites. I decided that if Eri was going to use them she would have already. And since this was day three of keeping them I m...

The day after Christmas used to be such a letdown, but these days it's kind of a relief. Maybe it was always like that and I'm just realizing it. Again. Today was Monday and I was back at work. The boys are off from kindergarten. Eri took them to Izumi Chuo in the morning to find a new winter coat for Osamu. They found a good one. Pictures are forthcoming I'm sure. Today was officially my last day of work for the year, though I still have some tasks to wrap up over the next few days. The goal today was to finish my monthly report, which involves multiple Excel spreadsheets and lots of translation/interpretation. I have to somehow take information from our sales, marketing, and customer service teams, which is all in Japanese language and context, and produce a report that can be understood by company executives abroad.  Which is why I was so happy for the return of Zanma-san, who made her second appearance at our house today for babysitting while Eri is at school and I'...

Osamu woke up early this morning and headed downstairs by himself, carrying one of his favorite books, Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. The boys both love that book. We read selections of poems from it sometimes before bed. Their favorite is "Mr. Grumpledump's Song." I read it with a particularly churlish voice and they laugh like crazy.  Osamu can't read yet, but he loves the illustrations, so he looks at those and finds the poems he remembers and pretends to read them. He also loves the one about the guy whose head falls off and he can't find it so he sits on a rock to think about where he left it and it turns out the rock he's sitting on is his head. When Osamu got downstairs, according to the story (we were all still asleep), he noticed two big special Christmas present bags by the tree. Apparently he didn't even remember this was Christmas morning. So he ran back upstairs, climbed up to the top bunk, woke up Kenzo and told him he better g...

Apparently the boys came across the song Feliz Navidad at kindergarten. I think one of the teachers who was dressed up as Santa Claus on the school bus was singing it or had it playing. I could not be more pleased. One, because it's not Last Christmas . Two, and most importantly, it's one of the greatest Christmas songs of all time and I love that Kenzo and Osamu have had it stuck in their heads these last few days. This morning at soccer club Osamu was singing it the entire time, much to the confusion of the coaches. Plus, when he sings it the words come out kinda muddled. He's trying to sing "Feliz Navidad" but it sounds like "please namida ". "Namida" in Japanese means "tears," as in the crying kind. I just shrugged my shoulders when the coaches looked at me. Last night and today we had Jose Feliciano playing in the house quite a bit.  After soccer we just relaxed in the living room and did puzzles and played and looked out the wi...

Day two of no TV for the boys was a success. I think. I was mostly distracted.  Technically I had taken the day off from work but I spent the morning working on a report translation that was a little time sensitive. Eri was out all morning running errands so I worked downstairs at the dining table and made a second cup of Aeropress coffee. I've been watching videos on how to make better coffee with that thing. I almost have it down. I am yearning for the skills to make a consistently satisfying cup of coffee every day. After Eri and the boys left for the kindergarten bus stop I headed back inside shivering. It was cold today. And really windy. Icy wind. Before starting my work I had to take care of some obsessive tasks. Since I wasn't technically on the clock today I played it kinda loose. Usually I hustle to get my morning walk in and try to do a few household things before 9. Today, though, I scratched my clean-freak itch and vacuumed the whole house and it was incredibly sa...

Today was day one of no TV for the boys. After some unruly behavior that included Osamu's chapstick work on the television screen yesterday I unilaterally set a moratorium on TV watching. The remote controls are currently in the basket on top of the refrigerator and Eri and I are following through by talking with Kenzo and Osamu about why this is happening. Eri took the day off from her career class. Partly it's because she's tired, but mostly it's because she's worried about me. Yesterday did not end well. When I'm upstairs working and the boys are downstairs by themselves doing their thing, stuff happens. They're four and six years old. Even with constant supervision they get into shenanigans. It just comes with the territory. It was rainy and cold for most of the day. I did my morning walk in my raincoat, with my scarf around my neck since it was 4 degrees, and carried my umbrella. I don't have proper rain boots, though, so my Asics sneakers got kinda...

I took the morning off to go see my psychiatrist and did my usual walk down to Izumi Chuo to catch the subway to Hirosedori after sending Eri and the boys off in the car to the kindergarten bus stop. The doc asked me his usual stoic questions. I'm learning through experience about the difference between psychiatrists and psychologists, both of which I frequent. Obviously the big one is that the psychiatric doc can prescribe medication, and today I actually got an increase in the Zoloft. The other thing I've noticed in my limited involvement in these things is that psychologists seem to be into mental health for more subjective reasons than psychiatrists; specifically, for personal or religious reasons, for atonement, as a form of therapy for themselves, and more I can't even fathom. My psychiatrist is well-groomed, has a super professional office on the eighth floor of an excellently-located building downtown, asks his questions and types everything into his computer on hi...

At least one or days per week I have a pretty bad anxiety breakdown caused by the stress related to taking care of the boys during the last three hours of my work day while Eri is at school. Some days are relatively easy, when Kenzo and especially Osamu take a long nap and play nicely and watch TV downstairs until 6 p.m. when I can wrap up and go down and put together whatever delicious dinner Eri prepped for us. Some days are very hard, like when the boys refuse to take a nap and then proceed to do what little boy siblings do best: run amok, argue, bump, cry, yell, you name it. There are some days when I can't get anything done work-wise. If I have meetings I do what I can to schedule them before 3 p.m. but sometimes it's impossible. When I have a meeting after 4:00 and the boys are getting super needy or grumpy I start to break down. I can keep it together in front of the camera ( Acting! Thank you! ) but afterward I feel like a swarm of angry birds attacked me, in quicksand,...

Today was the last "regular" day for a few weeks. The holiday schedule starts tomorrow.  The boys got home as usual at 14:35. I timed my break to go down and meet them since there's often drama upon their return to the castle. I always ask them, "What's the first thing you're going to do?" and they know the answer is wash your hands but somehow that rarely is actually the first thing they do. By 14:45 the boys are in their room, sorta settling in for a nap. Osamu needs multiple high-fives and bye-bye hugs from mama. Mama is trying desperately to leave on time without leaving me with a crying Osamu. By 14:50 I'm back at my desk, Eri is closing the front door, and I can hear her locking it. The boys can surely hear it too. Osamu thinks mama can still hear him, so he calls out, "Have a good day at school mama!" When there's no reply I can hear him sobbing from the next room.  Kenzo doesn't like naps. I get it. If I was an energetic, gr...

I caught the last subway home last night and walked home very slowly. I was pretty tired and full and consumed a lot of craft beer and the sleet and snow had stopped so I felt no reason to hurry. The heat pack in my coat pocket was just starting to wear out, though. That was unfortunate timing. The package says it's supposed to last for 16 hours. This one did not. So this morning Eri took pity on me and let me sleep in. However, about 8:45 she had to lay down the law and asked me if I was going or not.  Oh riiiight. I was the who announced a few days ago that we should do a family trip to IKEA, mostly just for the kids play area and because I was in the mood for Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, and throngs of impulse-buying couples who hold hands and walk slow.  The boys were basically ready to go so I hopped to it and got dressed and grabbed a piece of gum because I was pretty sure I still smelled like truffle pizza. I was right. As we were heading down the Sendai bypass t...