Staring Out the Window

Bruno texted me this picture today.

He's been going through old stuff apparently. This was the autumn of 2008 or 2009. Fourteen or fifteen years ago. Feels like a different lifetime. 

I guess it was.

Last night I got in late and crashed out in the tatami room, and this morning Kenzo wasted no time taking my spot in my cozy futon to do some catching up on his school reading.

A couple of boys (not mine) said hello to me, so I said hello back. I guess it was just politeness, even though these two mealy mouthed kids were obviously at the intersection of Bored and Surprised. I should've just muttered a greeting and walked on.

Especially when I'm dressed the way I was today, in slacks and a short-sleeved button-up dress shirt, like a Mormon missionary but older and darker and more cantankerous, I become a head-turner for a certain demographic, mostly nine-year-olds. Fortunately, I wasn't feeling too surly today, so I continued the conversation by asking them, "Are you guys catching bugs?" One boy had a bug box, while the other had a bug-catching net.

They responded affirmatively, saying, "Yes, we're catching bugs." Curious, I inquired if they had found anything. Both of them seemed somewhat disappointed and, in a slightly irritated manner, replied, "Nope, nothing yet."

I told them good luck and walked on and if I hadn't dictated this into my phone as I walked it would be a moment lost forever.

Which got me thinking. How much of our existence as humans is lost to the ages? How much of our lives can we really remember and account for, and enjoy? 

That's one of the main reasons I started to write this blog. I've been journaling since I was in high school, but those writings are going to be mostly read and pondered on after I'm gone. I want to keep a record of what I'm thankful for daily in real time, so it can be shared now and in the years to come, until the internet is obsolete I guess. Maybe I should print this out and stick the manuscript in a hermetically sealed box so my great-great-grandkids can find it.

My boss was in from Osaka and we had a really fun dinner party last night. But today was back to business. All four team managers and the big boss gathered at the company for the first time in a really long time. Probably since last autumn when all 26 members of the department got together. Having a meeting face-to-face is really weird for me now. I like being at my desk in my house. Which is why when it started to get close to lunchtime and someone said, "Hey, maybe we should order out because there’s still lots to talk about," I started to get anxious. 

But then someone said pizza, and I was not as anxious anymore. I will listen to any marketing and sales talk for as long as you want me to as long as you keep that pizza coming in and someone else is paying the bill.

One of the things I hear brought up about the Japanese education system is that swimming is a thing. I don’t remember having swimming in PE class back in the U.S. until maybe from junior high. Definitely high school. But for sure not elementary school. 

Here swimming is an integral part of physical education for kids and Kenzo had his first pool day at school today. He had all his gear ready and later on when he got home I asked him how it went. He showed me using his hands how far up the water in the swimming pool went, and it was all the way up to his chest when he stood in the pool. That was his first time experiencing that I think. He’s been in swimming pools at hotels before in Okinawa in California, but papa was holding him and he was a baby so he doesn’t remember.  

Today he had elementary school PE swimming with his first grade classmates and his teacher and when he came to my office to tell me about his day it was very apparent that he was exhausted. 

At bedtime, he fell asleep way faster than usual. As he shared his swimming adventures, I sat at my desk, eagerly listening. He was pretty fatigued, with a rugged and adventurous appearance that's difficult to describe. I adore envisioning my sons as Huckleberry Finn (Osamu) and Tom Sawyer (Kenzo), and today, Kenzo undeniably exuded a Tom Sawyer-like aura. It seemed as though he had expended every ounce of his youthful energy, both physically and mentally. 

I can’t think of anything better in life than being a little boy who is tired out from having too much fun and so many wonderful experiences and telling your smiling papa about it.

When I was wrapping up my work for the day I went to shut my office window and took a moment, as I often do, to stare.

I like staring out the window.