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How Are You Smart?

Kenzo's just in 2nd grade, and I'm not particularly worried that he's not a great student. Eri is. 

Maybe it's a mom thing. Quite possibly it's a Japanese thing. 

For my part I think my stance is for sure my personality and outlook on life, which people around me find somewhere between irritating and irresponsible... that things will be fine. People call me "positive" but I adamantly insist that I am an optimist. It's different. 

Positivity to me is Pollyanna, where a person sees the good but ignores the reality that maybe things aren't so great... yet. My outlook is optimism, which helps me to acknowledge the sometimes not great reality of the current situation, but that if we work hard we can make it better, and that it can get better, also realizing that it could get worse before it gets better.

Today Kenzo got a perfect score on his language test at school. A first. He's been averaging below what in American schools would be a D minus.


We all showered the praise on. Even Osamu, who is just weeks away from joining his big brother at elementary school, learning kanji and Japanese social norms and finding his schoolboy identity.


Eri made a feast that included all of our favorites, especially sujiko-covered rice. Kenzo beamed all evening. I told him over and over, "You worked really hard to get that amazing score and I'm so proud of you."


Instead of saying "you're so smart dude," I try to remember to emphasize his hard work and dedication. I believe praising effort encourages a growth mindset, builds resilience, and fosters a love for learning. In addition to being an optimist I'm a lunatic idealist.

Kenzo's success is a testament to his perseverance and determination, which he is building on day by day. I love the idea of changing the question from "How smart are you?" to "How are you smart?"

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