This'll Just Take a Minute

Since today was a national holiday, of course there was a neighborhood association luncheon.  I gave a short speech about how we need to reform the neighborhood association so people actually want to participate. However, after prefacing it with the fact that I am passing on my vice-chair and administration duties after two years of service everyone kinda laughed. The best part was that there was tons of Akita-style pork and vegetable stew left over, so they gave it to me and I walked home with this huge pot of hot soup and after Eri helped herself to a bowl she set about distributing it into various bowls and gave some to our neighbors. Then soccer at the park of course. We played for an hour and went home and had three o'clock snack time and then Osamu begged to go back out and ride his bike. Eri took him out and they ended up at another nearby park.

Osamu graduated from kindergarten today. He was so excited and more than ready. For two years, he has enviously watched Kenzo go off to elementary school, and now it is finally going to be his turn. The kindergarten they went to is something special. It feels like a world of its own. It’s a little sanctuary with a barn, animals, massive slides built into a forest, and classrooms bursting with color and life. Every floor has a real fireplace, and when those log fires burn, the whole place fills with this warm, cozy aroma that makes you want to curl up and nap. This morning, it was even snowing, which made the fireplaces feel a thousand times more magical. The graduation ceremony was beautiful. Osamu’s teachers, Kokoro-sensei and Miss Allie, got teary-eyed during the final class meeting. A bunch of parents, myself included, reached for those tissues too. All the Japanese teachers wore stunning kimonos, adding to the sense of occasion. Osamu and all the kids adore the principal. He’s a fa...

Of all the kinds of weather, I really don’t like wind. Cold, biting wind, the kind that cuts through your coat and somehow finds its way into your bones, is the worst. I’m a summer person. I like the kind of sultry heat that makes the air feel thick, the kind where you keep a sweat towel draped around your neck all day. I’ll take that over shivering any time. Lately, though, it’s been nothing but wind and sleet and the kind of cold that makes me question all my life choices. But then this evening, the wind finally settled. The sky put on a show... deep oranges melting into soft purple, and for a moment, everything felt peaceful.  The kind of peace that sneaks up on you, that you don’t realize you needed until it’s there. Man it was good. This morning was Osamu’s last time riding the kindergarten bus.  Tomorrow is graduation, and we’ll be driving instead. The whole bus stop crew showed up early, cameras out, exchanging farewell greetings and chatting like always. One boy is mov...

Kenzo was home today... kinda sorta sick. His temperature hovered between 37 and 37.5°C, which is one of those annoying in-between fevers where you can’t really say if someone’s sick or not, but they’re definitely not quite right. He mostly lay on the sofa all day, which made me kinda sad because he’s usually a whirlwind of energy. Seeing him so still felt... off. At some point late in the morning, I decided to make a second 500ml round of coffee. Maybe it was the extra caffeine, or maybe it was just one of those Mondays (and it was), but before lunchtime my body decided... "hey remember panic attacks? Let’s do one of those." Shaking, dizzy, breathing all weird, like I was trapped inside my own skin, which we all are of course but when you feel it then things get bizarre.  It’s been a year and a half since I had one this bad, and I do not miss them. There was a six-month period a few years back where panic/anxiety attacks were a daily thing, which is why I finally decided to ...

This morning started a little later than planned, but that wasn't gonna to throw me off. I still managed to get up, grab Eri’s packages, drop them in the post box on the way, and sidle into my spot at the management roundtable with a hot thermos of my perfect coffee. Even brought my blue coffee mug to pour it into, which made it all the more enjoyable. The chairman, the other vice-chair (I’m the other one), and the special advisor (who was the former chairman and mostly just paces around and puffs on an electric cigarette) were already there as always because they're retired and show up to everything thirty minutes early and comment on how everyone who arrives after them is running late, so I jumped into our prep meeting. All of this by 8 a.m. I jumped out of bed at 7:25.  For the last two years, every third Sunday of the month has started this way, except for the sleeping late part. Two years ago I agreed to help out with our neighborhood association, and today was my last mee...

Every year it happens. Sendai weather tricks you into thinking spring is coming, then bam, the snow and hail return. It was freezing today. The wind has been biting for days. This is always the last hurrah for Sendai winter. As I write, sleet taps against my office window, blending with the steady hum of the air conditioner set to a comfortable 22 degrees. I am already picturing our next driveway barbecue and camping trip when all this cold malarky ends. Okay no more weather info I try to avoid the topic of the weather because it's like beating around the bush... of life. I did not take a single picture today, except with my mind. But I did make a helluva great thermos of coffee. While Osamu played soccer, Kenzo and I made our usual stop at the Yamazawa supermarket across the parking lot. He gets a snack, and I get my complimentary green tea. The rule is simple. One hundred yen or less. There are pricier options, but plenty of good choices within the limit. Kenzo picked something t...

There's a supermax prison in my head for all the disturbing things. Every fear, every worry, all that awful stuff in the rear view mirror, every intrusive thought that creeps in when I should be enjoying the moment. I lock them up tight, stack the keys on a high shelf, and do my best to focus on what matters. I love Leonard Cohen. I'm listening to a live concert of his in London as I write this. "There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." And I think there's something to that... acknowledging that the walls aren’t perfectly sealed, that some thoughts slip through. But even if the prison isn’t escape-proof, my boys are the light flooding through those cracks. Oh god are they. Raising them with Eri is the best part of my life up to this point. It’s chaotic, totally exhausting, and fairly often ridiculous, but it’s also the purest, most honest joy I know. When they laugh, when they fight, when they ask endless impossible questions or snuggl...