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Crying and Distress

Kenzo sure delivers when it comes to giving papa the panic.

He's been sick with a high fever for three days, all through the holiday weekend. Osamu was catching it, too, apparently. So Eri took them to the doctor first thing this morning. Kenzo was not down with that idea. He crawled behind the bunk bed to hide and was sobbing and kept saying he didn't want to go. Between Eri and I we somehow pried him out and got him in the car. It was like that cartoon image of trying to get a cat in a bathtub when they put all their legs out to keep from going in.

I was at home working while Eri dealt with having to wait in the car with two sick, restless boys because they don't let people into places, especially the doctor's office, with elevated body temperatures. You have to be escorted in specially to get Covid tested as part of any treatment. Eri used up all her energy, as well as her patience. 

When they got back I ran downstairs and hugged the boys and noticed that Osamu was pretty much unfazed. Not surprising. But suddenly as I hugged Kenzo I could tell he lost weight, which worried me because he's already a pretty scrawny little boy. It was his voice, though. His voice as he spoke crushed me. He was telling me about the medicine at the doctor. It turns out he was badly dehydrated from the fever and not being able to keep anything down, even water, for days. So they gave him intravenous medicine, which meant needles in his arms, which meant serious crying and major distress for him. 

After days of sickness and then this episode, his little voice was like withered autumn leaves coming out of his mouth and it triggered a panic in me I cannot describe. My little boy was not his usual self. He was talking to me and describing the doctor's office and another little boy he saw there and how Osamu was being naughty, all in his usual expressive way, but his pallor and the way he seemed so completely defeated panicked me to my core. I could tell he had an ordeal that deeply affected him. His eyes wandered as he meekly spoke, like he was dizzy. His hugs felt like he was grabbing on for dear life.

In the evening I was doing my best to keep concentrated on work to the end. I took a couple of mind-clearing walks, as I do, but some days even those don't do the trick.

Around 17:15 I stood up and poked my head out the window. And man I hit the jackpot. 

This was what I needed.

Kenzo had his first real bath in a few days and he just sat there with his bucket of super balls looking completely void of any energy. I asked him if he was ready to get out and get dry and put on PJs but he said he wanted to stay in the bath a little longer and play. And he proceeded to continue sitting there staring into space.

When I tucked the boys in I rubbed a little Vicks VapoRub on both of their chests so they could sleep comfortably. Kenzo was remarkably accepting. He's usually so contrary with those things. After giving him a goodnight kiss I put the lid back on the jar of Vicks and sighed quietly and when I looked back down he was already conked out. 

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