This'll Just Take a Minute

Our extended family has a new member. We got the news yesterday morning via text message that Eri's sister had safely given birth to a baby boy. Her poor husband couldn't be in the hospital due to covid restrictions. Their daughter was born right after the pandemic hit so he couldn't be in the room that time either. He's an awesome guy and makes up for it by being a model husband and father.  Kenzo and Osamu are of course delighted to have a new cousin. Last week they had so much fun when we visited and played with cousin Emika. Eri's dad even called us the other night out of the blue because he forgot to tell us that he observed Osamu being especially sweet to his little cousin, tossing the ball gently to her and telling her to be careful. Kenzo has been particularly sensitive recently. The other morning as I was getting the boys buckled into the car he got upset and even started to cry because Osamu was wearing his coat hood with earmuffs. He was indignant and jus...

"Good night papa." "I love you." Tucking in the boys at bed time is not only one of my favorite moments of the day, it's one of the best parts of my life. Especially Osamu. He's four-and-a-half years old, and the cutest he's probably ever going to be. Kenzo is still a cute little boy too, but he's also already started that physical and mental transformation into being, for lack of a better term, a real little boy. Osamu is still cherubic in presence and in words. Eri texted me this morning after she left to take the boys to the bus stop and go grocery shopping, "I want to do sewing." I texted her back, "Of course." I've been working downstairs at the dining table for a while, but today I was back up at my desk in my "office". Eri put a towel under her sewing machine at the dining table to dull the sound so I wouldn't be disturbed upstairs. It's never disturbing.

I didn't set my alarm clock last night. This morning my eyes opened around 6:30, or probably before, and I looked out the window from bed and decided to stay there. Eri was already downstairs but the house was quiet so I deduced she was doing her studying or bag-making and the boys weren't up yet. Over an hour later the situation had changed. I could hear the boys jumping and carrying on downstairs. I got up and looked out the window properly and saw that it had snowed. The street was clear but the park and the rooftops and cars were covered in a nice white blanket. So my plans to take the boys to one of our favorite parks was out. By the time I was finishing my first cup of coffee the snow was partially melting. Not enough snow left for sledding and too much melting to enjoy running and playing safely. So I made some more coffee and headed outside and vacuumed the car while the boys played in the driveway. And that was pretty much it for this Sunday morning. Eri made us some r...

I was pretty excited to go with the boys to soccer club this morning since I was away last weekend. Even though it's just fun time soccer for preschoolers, I think Kenzo and Osamu are getting better at controlling the ball. I can kinda see Kenzo's confidence increasing as well. Osamu is like me - naturally confident for no good reason whatsoever. There's this one kid who's really good at soccer, but he's a jerk. I know he's only six years old, but he does things that I would pull my boys aside and talk to them about if I saw them. Like stepping on other kids' jackets and knocking over their canteens on purpose. I was observing the kid's dad today, and trying not to judge. He seemed like an okay guy. I wondered if people do the same to me but judge. Harshly. Kenzo was pretty busy in the afternoon while mama was out taking another certification exam for web design. I gave him the idea to build a bullet train line on top of the hanging monorail and he got ...

Five p.m. in the living room. "Hey, Kenzo, tell me about game day at kindergarten today." He was busy with some drawing and shook his head. "Well... then tell me one thing about your day, good or bad. Papa wants to know what your day was like."  Another head shake. He was focused on his artwork. "Okay, dude. Then you gotta gimme a hug or I won't leave you alone." That got a reaction. Without saying a word he turned and crash landed a hug on me. I think he's learning the technique of the tackle hug from Osamu. I took the afternoon off from work to see my therapist. I haven't been in a couple of months. It always feels weird on the way there because I have no clue what to talk about. Once I'm there, though, and the nice old lady asks me how I'm doing I go on for twenty minutes about what's inside my head. Today I think I made some headway. Thanks to my head shrinker's questions I may have discovered something beyond just the consc...

Our bedtime story tonight was a book got from our family in America, Where's My Mummy? by Carolyn Crimi . It's kinda meant for the Halloween season, but the boys picked it tonight because we haven't read it in a while and they are more and more curious about actual mummies. After the story I asked the boys if they want to see a picture of a real mummy and they were very excited. I carefully Googled pictures of mummies and when Osamu tried to look I told him to wait. I had a feeling there could be some disturbing images for little boys and I was right. I told the boys, "There might be scary pictures so I'll find something not too scary." Kenzo replied, "Don't worry papa. If it's scary I won't look." I found some website about the British Museum, which I've been to. It was perfect; nice photos of mummies without all the scary stuff. The boys decided they want to go to London and were somewhat relieved that there were no mummies near us...

I made lunch plans for today with friends. They're my co-workers, too, but friends first. They also wanted to do lunch at a place I can't walk to in a reasonable amount of time. The place is Korean, though, and their rotating menu landed on yangnyeom chicken this week so it's sorta imperative that we make the journey. It was snowing but not sticking. And it was really, really cold. So I decided instead of cranking up the Yamaha SR I'd see if Eri needed the car between 11:30 and 13:30. She had plans to get gas at Costco and do some shopping, so we joined forces. Eri dropped me off at the Korean joint, she went off and did her errands, and I walked down to meet her afterward.  The Korean lunch was so good. Yangnyeom chicken is one of my very favorite foods of all the foods. Plus this place has the sides: Korean seaweed, kimchi, other stuff a white guy can't remember. It's all so delicious.  To top it off, for dinner Eri made meatballs and steamed oysters. It was a...

Kenzo had his last open house of his kindergarten career today. Eri went since I had to work. Kenzo was so excited. His open house was postponed a few weeks ago because his teacher and a bunch of kids in his class got covid, so he'd been waiting patiently for this day to come. He's only got fifteen more days of kindergarten and then graduation. Then in April he starts first grade.

Five months ago Eri started her career class in web design downtown and tonight was the last session. She told me it was going to be short, just two hours compared to the usual four, but would I mind it if she window-shopped and hung around a little downtown after class before coming home. I said that's what I would do, so absolutely. She was still back home much earlier than usual and the boys were so excited. They know it was the last day. I'm not sure if they're more excited about mama being home in the evenings now or about no longer having to put up with papa's half-assed supervision, but either way we've taken a big step together as a family and Eri has gained some excellent skills and confidence. She is in a position, even more so than before, where she can walk into a job interview and have the upper hand. She's the one they want rather than her being desperate for employment. She went on an interview last week and they of course offered her the position...

Once in a while it feels like this... And yet somehow we managed to pull off a Sunday morning family photo shoot without too much drama. I credit Eri, of course. And Zoloft. Of course. Usually at photo studios you can't take pictures or videos with your own camera or smartphone. Today, however, we got the okay as long as we agreed to follow them on Instagram. Not a bad deal. The real photos will be done in a few weeks. The reason for the photo shoot was Kenzo's impending entrance into elementary school, which is coming up in April. School entrance is a big deal here, especially for first grade. Later in the day, after nap time, the boys and I went for a walk. We walked the route that Kenzo will soon take to school and then Osamu wanted to keep going so he could see his old nursery school, which is nearby. Then we went ahead and trekked over to Dounji, down the long steps, through the graveyard, and up the other side back to our neighborhood. 

Around 6:30 I woke up thanks to leaving the hotel room curtains open. I was pretty groggy and still sleepy so I brushed my teeth and went back to bed. I could really go for a few more days in a hotel with nothing to do. It felt weird waking up by myself with no one around. That used to be the norm, but I've become accustomed to my crazy family life. And I am thankful for that. I suited up and walked to Kobe Sannomiya Station, skipping breakfast. On the way I passed a standing bar that was packed and hopping. At 10:15 in the morning. Kobe is more fun than I thought. When I got off the train at Osaka Umeda I was so hungry. I love being hungry. It's full of possibilities and it motivates me. Being full or even just satisfied doesn't make me feel good. I sometimes wish I was normal. I wasn't sure what the wedding menu was gonna be, and the reception wasn't until 15:00, and I'm in Osaka, so I got myself some okonomiyaki and a draft beer. Ohhhh man it hit the spot. Pe...

I took the day off to head to a friend's wedding in Osaka tomorrow. As I was getting set to leave for the airport in the morning Eri was preparing gift bags of treats for the neighbor kids and especially the mom. I knew this would happen. There's a very strict and unwritten cultural contract. I watched her delicately make perfect bags with stickers and bows and commented, "It must be pretty hard to be Japanese." She confirmed that it is, indeed, hard to be Japanese, and added that it must be nice to be a gaijin. To which I confirmed that, yes indeed, it is very good being a gaijin. I had a great call with my sister while waiting for my plane at the airport and actually missed the boarding calls and nearly missed my flight. I was the last guy on. Not the first time, and surely not the last. When I was reserving a hotel last month I kinda recall choosing something cheap and simple. I just needed a place to sleep and shave and get suited up. For sixty bucks I figured I w...

Eri was off to her class, the last one before her final project presentation tomorrow. She's been staying late this week to work with her classmates. It was 14:50. Kenzo and Osamu told me they'd nap until 16:00. I had a meeting with a customer on Zoom from 15:00 to 16:00 so that was gonna work out just perfect. But then at 15:15 it started to fall apart. I was doing my meeting downstairs at the dining table and I could hear noise upstairs from the boys' bedroom. Usually the noise goes away when they fall asleep, but the timing of this, twenty minutes into their nap time, had me worried. And my fears became reality. Osamu came downstairs crying and talking at me while I tried to maintain eye contact with my client. I was doing my best to gesture to Osamu to go back upstairs in a way that wouldn't be visible to my webcam. Then Kenzo came downstairs and they were both upset and I had to excuse myself from my meeting for a moment. I ordered the boys back upstairs for nap ti...

When I woke up and looked out the window this morning there were animal tracks in the snow in our garden. It was probably a cat, but I've seen foxes wandering around our neighborhood on my nightly walks as well. The boys love seeing animal tracks. At the park in Rifu there are lots of tracks because there's an adjacent forest and signs everywhere warning of wild boars and bears. Kenzo had to stay home again today, but he didn't mind. He likes the quiet. When I asked him if he was bored he said yeah but he likes it. He also added that it's too noisy when Osamu is at home. I just said it's super fun to have a little brother even if he's a bit hyperactive sometimes. Kenzo was quiet. Eri took Osamu to kindergarten by car so the other bus stop moms wouldn't worry. Japanese folks have a very strong cultural value of avoiding causing trouble for others. Sometimes they go overboard, but I'll take that any day over the American value of so-called freedom even at ...

Eri's mom texted me with a picture of a box of Valentine chocolates and said she'll give them to me the next time we meet. After my lunchtime walk I was upstairs working at my desk and Eri came in and gave me a box of chocolates. I love Valentine's Day in Japan. I used to bust my hump in the 90s trying to find flowers and chocolates and get a dinner reservation at a reasonable place that wouldn't break me. Now I am married to a woman who has instructed me not to buy her flowers because cake is more to her liking and we sorta celebrate Valentine's Day every day by serving each other. I opened some wine while getting the boys' dinner ready and it inspired me to prepare an extra special dessert for them. Usually they get one fruit. Bananas are a favorite. Tonight I filled their bowls with a powerful trifecta of blueberries, a strawberry, and a freshly sliced kiwi. With a squirt of honey on top. Kenzo was home from kindergarten today. His class is shut for two days ...

Eri interviewed for a job at a small accounting firm last week and of course she got it. She's pretty much always the most qualified, or even the most over-qualified, person these companies see. Initially she decided to take it. It seemed good. Part time, four hours a day, fits nicely in between the boys' school time, not far from home. However, there are problems. There's no parking and no guarantee of flexibility in case the boys get sick or have something come up. Eri asked me what I thought as I was heading off for a morning walk. I said I need to think about it, and I did while I walked. I popped an anxiety pill and walked for about thirty minutes. When I got back I told her I think there's a better gig out there for her. She emailed them to say sorry but I can't work at your firm. I felt relieved. There really is something better for her out there. And I think the timing for her to go back to work will be better after a little more time has passed. The boys ne...

Kenzo and Osamu are the best guys you could hope to hang out with. We headed out at 9 a.m. bound for the traffic park in Wakabayashi Ward. The boys call it the new traffic park because we discovered it after we had been going to to old traffic park near downtown in the Kawauchi area for a few months. I really don't know which one is newer or older. The surly old lady at the reception desk explained to us how part of the park was closed off to bicycles because there was still snow piled up, and when I went to write the name of the kindergarten the boys go to she said, "Don't worry about that part, they go to MeySen right?" I packed a bunch of snacks and bottles of green tea and stopped at Lawson for coffee (for me) and salmon roe rice balls (for the boys). We threw snowballs, the boys rode bikes and go-karts, we ran around laughing and chasing each other. There was a family there who, judging by their accents, may have been from Australia. Their little boy and girl wer...

There was no soccer club today so we played inside most of the morning. The boys' snow play gear is at school and Osamu decided he didn't want to play in the snow without his proper gear. I helped the boys with their trains and paper crafts while Eri was sewing kids bags that her customers ordered online. Eri texted our neighborhood friend Kimura-san. She's a super nice old lady who lives about a five minute walk from our house with her semi-retired and also extremely friendly husband. They have had us over for dinner and drinks many times over the last few years. We haven't seen them yet this year so Eri sent a happy new year and long time no see message. Of course they invited us for lunch. Eri and the boys went. I had a barber appointment and I also just wanted to have some quiet time and do a few things around the house. I vacuumed the ceiling corners and scrubbed the toilets. It relaxes me.  I took a circuitous route home from the barber. The air was cool but the s...

Around mid-morning it started snowing. My lunchtime walk was a little frosty. And then the snow just kept falling more and more. I still did my late evening walk. The snow was piled up past ankle height. I saw on the news that 6 inches of snowfall was recorded. I wasn't able to make my walking goal for the day, but I did my best. I managed to get 9800 steps and 6.2 kilometers, which was better than I was expecting. The boys and I were worried about mama driving home from the subway station. After bath time we did pajamas and teeth brushing and looked out the window. The snow was relentless. At last Eri pulled into the driveway. She had taken the snow shovel with her and literally had to use it to shovel her way from the car up to the front door.

It's the second Thursday of the month so I had my late international managers meeting, from 18:30 to 19:30. Tonight it went late, though. I didn't get done until about 20:00. The discussion got spicy with everyone venting about the quality of our company's new products. Eri was off from school today so she picked up the boys from kindergarten and took them shopping and most importantly there was no nap time. So my late finish meant that Eri went ahead and did bath time, which was a bummer for me. I love bath time with the boys. We always have so much fun. My system for getting us all scrubbed and bathed is totally refined... After letting Kenzo and Osamu run around the house in their underwear while I vacuum downstairs, we hop into the bath/shower room. I've been training them to get better at doing more and more things on their own, so I give them their face wash cloths and they wash their faces and ears and pretty much every night I have to remind them to wash behind ...

Eri was explaining what the boys' dinner would be. I was at the dining table with about 22% of my concentration on my laptop and possibly 45% of my attention on what she was telling me. The other 23% I have no idea. Probably random access memory. Sushi rolls, Anpanman soup, and corn dogs from the freezer. A perfect mid-week dinner for little boys. And an apple for dessert to boot. Kenzo has been so good with mealtime recently. He gobbles down his food. Sometimes it's a little too fast, and I think he's more motivated by getting back to playtime than by nutrition, but I'll take it. Osamu is so slow at mealtime and so distracted by everything and has so much to talk about instead of eating - he's me. Once I got the boys set up for their dinner, complete with glasses of water and wet towels for cleaning their hands and face, I set about scavenging for food myself. That was the other thing Eri was telling me before she left for school: she didn't prepare anything fo...

I love walking down to Izumi Chuo to catch the subway downtown. We live just far enough away that our neighborhood feels suburban, but we're also close enough that the subway is within walking distance. I consider 25 minutes walking distance. Opinions vary. I took the morning off and went to my psychiatrist for my semi-weekly check-in and prescription refill. The best part is the walk to and from Izumi Chuo Station. I stopped for a coffee along the way. It wasn't snowing today. The air was cold but the sunlight was soothing so I walked and sipped my coffee and thought about things. The doctor asked me the usual questions and gave me the usual advice. Which is why I also go see a therapist. My therapist listens. My psychiatrist diagnoses. Taking the morning off meant the afternoon was busy. The boys got home at 14:30. Eri took off for school at 14:50. Osamu napped until after five. Kenzo fake napped as per usual. I had work meetings online. In the evening a perfect storm of Kenz...

Once in a while Kenzo asks me questions about how old I am and how old mama is. Tonight he was asking me things like: When Osamu is in first grade I'll be in third grade? When I'm 14 years old Osamu will be how old? When I become a papa then you will be a grandfather? When I become a grandfather then you will die? He asks about death sometimes and I always answer him honestly, but age appropriately, whatever that means. I think it means I just answer his questions in as simple terms as possible without offering up more than he asked. I figure if he's savvy enough to think of the question, then he deserves an answer. If he can't yet fathom the question then he's probably not ready for unsolicited information, especially about mortality. When he asked me if I'll die when he becomes a grandpa I said maybe, unless I am lucky enough to live a super long time. Kenzo sometimes tells me he doesn't want to die, to which I respond, "That is something you don'...

Eri has been really proactive lately about taking the boys down to the library and one of their favorite play rooms. She told me she wants to give me some quiet time, which I am of course very grateful for. Even just a couple of hours makes a huge difference in my mental state. Every day is non-stop from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I doze off at the dining table trying to get some reading in. Last night and this morning, though, Eri wasn't feeling so well. She's over-exhausted. She was in bed at 8:30 last night and even after ten hours of sleep she was still lookin' pretty worn out this morning. I told her I'd take the boys out, but she refused. I should have insisted, but I didn't. Like when there's just one slice of pizza left and you offer it up but the other person politely turns it down and you know if you ask again, "Are you sure?" they'll totally snatch it up. Eri went upstairs to the bedroom and slept a little while the boys and...

Saturday morning of course means soccer. But that's not until 10 a.m. From the time they woke up and all through the morning the boys were obsessed with their spinning tops. Then came soccer club. Kenzo ran and kicked like crazy. Osamu is getting better too. I packed some snacks and Marumatsu coupons, so after soccer we headed to the nearby town of Rifu. One of favorite parks is Grande 21 . The snow was still piled up so we were the only ones there to play. Some old people and couples were walking their dogs.  Then we headed to Marumatsu for lunch. When we got back the boys took a nice long nap, but Kenzo was still pretty tired even after that. Eri made her awesome omurice for dinner. The boys always love it. They requested their usual ketchup art on top of their omurice. Kenzo likes to have an angry face, which makes him laugh, and Osamu got a heart. Usually when Eri makes omurice for me she tops it with a heart or writes "love" in ketchup. About a week ago my left middl...