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Be Curious, Not Judgemental (practice session)

I was walking up the steps from Dounji into the Koyodai neighborhood, part of my usual walking course, when I came across another gaijin dad with his two little boys. Often I've got an earbud in listening to a podcast, but today I was just enjoying the sounds of my own inner voice, so when I got to the top of the steps and greeted this trio I was in full "Howdy how are ya!" (not a question) annoying-but-what-can-you-do American mode.

After all these years of being a human I still do that stupid thing... make assumptions about other humans. I just thought another relatively tall caucasian guy would be an English speaker. And maybe he is. And maybe he had assumptions about me. And maybe he just wanted to be left alone with his two little boys. And maybe he was surprised to see me. And maybe his wife is Portuguese. And maybe he's South African. And maybe he's my long-lost cousin.

Any assumption I could make would be a roulette spin on a wheel the size of the planet.

I just noticed he was a white guy with two small kids and he was speaking Japanese to them. And it made me wonder. The kids looked a bit like their mom might be Japanese, but again I do not know and should not assume things that don't even concern me.

Special note: I am not an expert on anything, especially raising kids.

The thing I wondered first was, "How come a dad who could provide English comprehensible input for his kids is speaking in the language of the other parent who likely provides plenty of exposure to that language to aid acquisition?" (I am a grotesque person who is obsessed with topics like this.)

I wiped my sweaty forehead with my trusty face towel and re-adjusted my wondering. "How can I position myself to meet up with this dude again so I can strike up a conversation and inquire about these things I am wondering about?"

Ask. Be curious. Leave judging to... judges.

Also Osamu really wants to ride my bike.


And on this penultimate day of kindergarten summer vacation I was so glad to have him as a special guest in my home office after his afternoon snack, when he smells like whatever snack he ate and aggressively breathes it on me. Today was relatively innocuous. Sometimes his snack is shrimp crackers, the breath of which you gotta be emotionally ready to absorb.



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