We Both Laughed

Today was the first day in a really, really long time that I didn’t put a mask in my pocket before leaving the house. Little by little society is loosening up. There are still plenty of people wearing masks, of course. But there are enough people out and about without them that the acceptance of it is catching on. It feels good. It made me a little nervous at first because I'm one of those sheep who thinks covering your mouth can help mitigate the spread of disease. 

This scene in the morning makes me happy. 

Osamu falls and skins his skees pretty much weekly now. He's getting used to constantly having bandaids and scabs.

He's also a very helpful trash taker-outer. I hope he enjoys taking the trash out for years and years to come.

Kenzo played with his friend Hidekazu at the park today. Tuesdays are the newly approved play days, and Eri and Hidekazu's mom take turns. We did not want his mom thinking she could use us as free day care all the time, which is where it was leading.

Apparently when the boys were putting Kenzo's lizard down the slide Hidekazu accidentally stepped on it. Kenzo was pretty sad.

Eri described it to me over a glass of wine after the boys went to bed. It was completely an accident and Hidekazu held back tears. Kenzo did too. 

I was proud that he didn't blame his friend and say he did it on purpose. He does that to Osamu occasionally and I always have to talk with him about it. He's in a phase where he blames others for everything. I'm patient with him about it and try to help him work through it. We all know people for whom blaming others isn't a phase, but a persona. I'm confident that by being a good role model and helping Kenzo understand the impact of that kind of behavior he'll grow out of it.

I had a very positive meeting with my boss this afternoon. It started out kind of rough because I had to reconfirm some things that he already told me a while back, so he used phrases like, "We’ve talked about this before" and, "I really need you to understand..." 

Then I proactively asked him about my job performance, and he actually gave me some positive feedback and praise. Which was surprising. I know if he's displeased he'll come to me. He doesn't mess around. But he's also not exactly Kris Kringle when it comes to dispensing praise. He said last year he was worried about my haphazard management style (he specifically said he couldn't believe what he was seeing) but that now he is confident in what I'm doing, especially when it comes to relegating myself to an admin role and promoting team development through delegating responsibilities to the members of my team.

I needed to hear that, and I didn't even know it.

Lastly, per my psychiatrist's advice, I told my boss about my anxiety attacks and obsessive compulsive diagnosis and the medication I have to take. He was very understanding, and even shared some of his own experiences with similar things. He gave me some advice on reducing stress that I will start implementing right away. He also commented that he has observed me to be an idealist, so he's not surprised that I'm a wreck. We both laughed.

When I hung up that call I felt relieved, energized, and utterly exhausted. I leaned back in my desk chair and stared out the window for a while as the warm breeze blew in.