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Stimulus Response

I bought a carton of milk last weekend thinking I was being super proactive and helpful but the expiration date was the next day and I've been playing catch up ever since. Eri won't give any expired food to the boys because she's a good mom and all, but I have no problem with it for myself. As a matter of fact I mostly subsist on food that has transcended its expiry date. If it passes the sniff test it goes to The Garrison.


Normally in the morning I make 500ml of good strong black coffee and pour it in my thermos and ration it throughout the morning as I set about my work in my upstairs office. But that milk ain't gettin' fresher so this week I've been heating it up into a frothy froth and making lattes. Or cafe au lait. I don't know the difference. I prefer black but I gotta say hot milk in coffee is pretty good. Especially with the mushroom, onion, cheese, three-egg omelette I whipped up for brunch using more of said milk and I just about used it all up so I just did one final whiff, confirmed it was fine, and chugged the remainder straight from the carton.


Kenzo has his moments of 8-year-old angst. He has outbursts of I hate you, he can be pretty mean to his brother when he has a mind to, he doubles down on refusing to do his homework even in the face of losing TV remote privileges. I have to calmly remind myself, and Eri too of course because it really gets to her in a personal sort of way, that Kenzo is a little boy and he's going through stuff. 

Life is odd and mysterious and frustrating and amazing and surprising and sometimes really difficult and that's just for adults... for little people who are relatively new to this hootenanny it's gotta be outlandishly insane in a way that they themselves can't even process because their self-awareness is still developing and their mental functions have barely kicked in.


I don't use any of that to excuse, rationalize, or endorse naughty behavior though. Between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. 

That is easier said than done, but it's gotta be done, obviously to stay sane for one, but for me most importantly to model that for the boys. I think my responses can teach the boys how to handle their own emotions and reactions. By showing them that I can stay calm and make thoughtful choices, I believe I can help them learn to do the same. But man I fail hard a lot, especially when I'm tired.

Something I've come to really embrace over the last few years is that challenging moments are an opportunity for growth... for both me and Eri and the boys. When we stop and take a breath and choose our responses carefully, we can help ourselves develop skills and foster a sense of independence and responsibility.

I've been seriously thinking about trying meditation. For now I just walk and say hi to old people and the occasional cat.

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